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One of many

Lately I've been suspecting that one of the things holding me back is I lack the enthusiasm that used to carry me through things. People would take me seriously because I seemed to be restraining my excitement at the work that abounded in my world, and I didn't seems to mind where it took me. I'm not sure I can pass off that childish any more.

Now I'm fairly resigned. Even when I interview, I never have the thrill of working somewhere (aside form the deeply suppressed hope it'll be the one), the joy is largely gone. I'm not sure how to get it back, either. It's like I need to talk physics with someone else for it to come out; I'm not sure if it's a form of showmanship or if I just really like sharing cool stuff, but I don't have many opportunities to do so anymore.

It's probably what I miss most about Rose. There was always someone willing to talk about something interesting.


What ever happened to the PHD program that you were enrolled in?
Ha, I got out of dodge before the first semester was over. Turns out that I really didn't care for the degree - I just wanted the job; you really can't stick it out for a PhD unless you really want it. Someday I'll pursue it, but I just don't see it happening soon.

Anyhow, I thought I had work, which is why I returned to TH, but that fell through, much to my chagrin. Thus I've been out of work for quite a while now. I just have utterly failed to find work.